Dear Abby: Son tries to navigate contentious relationship with his father

Dear Abby: Navigating a Difficult Father-Son Relationship

Despite growing up in his house, my values differ from my father's, which has caused tension since my teenage years. I left home as soon as I was old enough and have lived independently since then.

After several years without contact, my father asked to reconnect. We tried, but every conversation ended in an argument. When I suggested family counseling to improve communication, he refused.

He now tells relatives that I cut him off and am keeping him away from my children. I wanted a mediator to help us communicate better, but I’m losing hope this is possible. He involves siblings, aunts, and cousins, forcing them to take sides.

Seeking Advice on Protecting Family Relationships

How can I preserve my connections with other family members when he behaves this way?

For what it’s worth: My life is pretty quiet. I’m 30, married, hold a college degree, and have a stable job. We live in a nice neighborhood and enjoy watching our kids play soccer on weekends. -- MY OWN MAN IN MISSOURI

Abby's Response

How effective has your father's strategy of isolation been? Are your relationships with the rest of your family intact? If not already done, clearly inform your relatives about his controlling behavior.

Author's summary: This letter highlights the challenges of maintaining family ties amid conflicting values and a controlling parent's attempts to divide relatives.

Would you like the tone to be more formal or conversational?

more

NJ.com NJ.com — 2025-11-07

More News